S.A.D.

So, I am no psychologist by any means (although one day long ago I aspired to be one and even received my bachelors in psychology) I can't help but think I am suffering a little from the symptoms of S.A.D. (Seasonal affective disorder). This winter has literally been sucking the life out of me!

I think it is a safe assumption that most of Minnesota can relate to these feelings, but this winter paired with the longevity of last winter make me want to pack up my bags and head as far south as possible. I have even gone so far as to legitimately calculate living expenses and other factors that would be involved if we were to pick up everything and hit the road. It seems like it would be a lot of change all at once, but I can't think of anything better to happen in life right now. Although, I still have some fine tuning left to do, I would love to start my own photography business and have my focus be beach photography. Doing all my photo shoots on the beach next to the ocean everyday...sounds like a dream.

Speaking of photography, I've been doing a few more shoots lately. A few weeks back I did another wedding too. It was so much fun! I've been reading a lot about how to improve and different techniques to try, and there is a blog that proposed the idea of doing a "project 365." It's basically taking at least one photo each day for a year and creating a photo journal. Being realistic, I absolutely do not have the time for something like that, so the shorter alternative is a different idea I read about called "a day in the life." It's basically an exercise to gain different perspective on your day to day activities and capture little moments in a unique way. I did my first one on a work day, and plan to do my next on a Saturday or Sunday. Here is a little snippet from my first "a day in the life." **Note, I did not lug around my professional camera all day to do this, so this is my awesome iPhone version.** 

Waking up my sleeping beauty.

I start my day jammin' to Miranda Monday-Friday.

Mounds of paper accumulations. 

Lunch at my fav.

 Arctic sunset.  

A fun shot- this is where we spend most of our quality time together during the week.

Ending the day with a "hiiiyyyaaa!"


Until we meet again.

Twinsies

Time is going by so fast. It seriously feels like we just brought this little girl home, and now we are looking at schools for Kindergarten in the fall. Instead of being sad about it, I've decided to embrace it. This way, it will help her transition better if she is seeing me excited about it instead of crying a river because my little baby is growing up!

We went to the open house for Maternity of Mary/St. Andrew. I got such a great vibe from the staff there. The woman who is the kindergarten teacher there seemed like a saint. So patient and from what I could tell, very kind-hearted.

On Friday night we went out to Twinsfest. Now, if you reference my blog post regarding Twinfest last year, Sadie and I were pretty disappointed. We had made a shirt for Sadie to wear that had Kent Hrbek's last name on it with his number and on the front it said, "your #1 fan." We got there, and stood in line only to find out that he was sick and wasn't coming. So this year we were determined to have the chance to meet him. I have met him a few different times, but Sadie hasn't. She knows that he's my fave though. And bonus, the shirt we made for her last year still fit this year!

We got to Target Field around 4pm and Hrbek wasn't going to be signing autographs until 5:30pm, so we decided to walk around for a little while. Around 5pm we got in line and waited, and waited and waited some more. He was signing autographs with Tony Oliva, Terry Steinbach and Jack Morris. After about 45 minutes of waiting in line with an impatient 4 year old who wanted to go play the games, we were told that they were going to cut the line and we would not make it in. Great. Another year of missing out. So we got out of line and wondered up by the door where they all were signing the autographs. I told Sadie that we weren't going to be able to meet them this time around, but just wanted her to see them in person. BUT THEN just before 6:30pm when they were supposed to stop signing, the guy on the other end of the door started bellowing down the hallway, "anyone else for Oliva and Hrbek?" So of course we go running over there and reluctantly the guy lets us in! Long story short, Kent Hrbek loved Sadie's shirt. He actually signed her baseball card and her shirt for her, so that was an awesome souvenir for her. Tony Oliva brought Sadie around the table and let me take a picture of him giving her a huge bear hug. He is too sweet! It really was an awesome night. I think she is going to grow up to love baseball just as much as her mommy. :)

Terry Steinbach

Jack Morris

Hrbek signing Sadie's shirt.

So bummed that she was in the middle of blinking and that Jack Morris is trying to photo bomb!

Tony Oliva, what a sweet man.

Sadie with Phil Hughes...yeah, he was a Yankee, but I will look past that ;)

Playing bean bag toss with Phil Hughes.

Until we meet again.

Overdosed.

It's been two weeks exactly since I have had an ounce of coffee, or just caffeine in general. Although, I do think Caribou snuck some in my sparkling water the other day, we won't count that. I have to say I didn't think I could do it. I am not planning to give it up forever, but just going on a little hiatus for a while.

Last weekend I did a little research and found that technically an individual could "overdose" on caffeine at 250mg or more. I looked back on how much coffee I actually took in within a day's time frame and I think it's a very good possibility I was "overdosing." Not to the point where I should check in to the Betty Ford Clinic or anything, but it wasn't good. I suppose it could be a good explanation for my headaches EVERYDAY among other side effects. Needless to say, it's been a good break and I've been sleeping a lot better.

This past weekend was pretty great. I have to say, I am pretty impressed with my husband. He has taken the time to learn how to help me out in my studio via Youtube research. He took it upon himself to familiarize himself with light meters, and other lighting techniques. It really helped in my shoot on Sunday because I can honestly say it was my best one yet. I am so unbelievably excited about this opportunity, and can't wait to take the business to the next level. Especially if he is going to start taking an interest in it as well.

Last week, was kind of a rough one on the home-front. Sadie has always been a pretty good sleeper for the most part, but last Wednesday she woke up literally screaming about an hour after we put her to bed. I rushed in there to try and figure out what was going on, but realized that she was dreaming and tried to get her back to sleep. I walked out of her room for the second time and then not even 5 minutes later she started crying out again. I thought it might be a good idea to wake her up out of it so she could get it out of her head, worst. idea. ever.

She started trembling, just shaking so hard, and just wasn't acting like herself. She could barely talk to me and it was like she was having some type of reaction to something. Of course I start to freak out. She just kept saying, "mommy, something doesn't feel right. I don't know what is happening!" So hearing that out of her mouth kind of sent me into full on panic mode wondering what in God's name is going on. I sat with her for a few moments and tried to calm her, but it just seemed like nothing was working, and she couldn't be soothed. I was on the verge of taking her in to the ER. After about 20 minutes, she finally calmed.

The next morning I found out that she was dreaming about Anthony dying. She said that she "saw it in his eyes that daddy was dying." Then apparently, I came in to save him. So, ever since this nightmare, we have been having a heck of a time trying to get her to sleep. Each night it seems to get a little better, but it just bothers me that she had such an awful, vivd dream that would scare her to that extent. That's parenthood though, taking all the little phases one day at a time.

Until we meet again.

Not resolutions, but ambitions.

With the start of 2014, I decided to hit the ground running. I had a lot of ambition for last year, but in all honesty I feel the year was gone within a blink of an eye.

So, with the new year comes new ambition. 

I have such a passion for photography, that I really want to pursue it more. I want to be great and learn to edit beautiful photographs. There are some days where I feel as though I wasted a TON of money on student loans when all I ever really wanted to do was put in my amateur application in to KARE 11 News and say "hire me! I promise I'll be the best photojournalist you've ever seen!" 

Secondly, this is going to be a year I see more. Whether it be metaphorically, spiritually, or in physical form. There is so much of this world I haven't seen, and it's time. I don't necessarily feel the need to jump the next plane to Guam, but I think you catch my drift. Life is too short to not live it to the fullest.

In a continuation of the second statement, "life is too short to not live it to the fullest" I want to be able to feel like I can live it to the fullest. So, my third ambition this year is to let go. Let go of the things that keep me from living life to the fullest. It seems easier said than done, but just. let. go.

So there you go. My plan for 2014 in a nutshell. I hope to look back on this blog next year at this time and find that I was successful and that I gave it my best effort. We shall see. 

Two other fine ideas that I have had for this year...well, I guess they are not my ideas per say, but this is what I'm doing:

Until we meet again.

Catching Up

I haven't blogged since August. Fall is always so busy, but I can't believe I let 3 months go by without a peep. So yeah, not much has happened in 3 months... you know I was busy turning 25 (OK... 31), Ferny is gainfully employed again (temp position, but hey, we'll take what we can get), I went to a few concerts, finally saw Wicked at the Ordway, found out that my sister is going to have a baby, and celebrated a nice Thanksgiving. So no, nothing really to mention at all.  :)

Sadie was also in her first karate tournament a few weeks back. It was the cutest thing ever. I know she's only 4 and I know for her level it was mostly just for fun, but I was so proud of her! She got a first place trophy in the individual competition and second place medal in her team event. Chances are, she is going to be our one and only so I tend to bask in those little moments.

The two concerts that I got to check out were Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton (two different nights). I've seen Miranda a few times now, but this was by far the best show because we were so close. She's probably hands down my favorite.

Thanksgiving was nice, but a little harder this year. It was the first without my Grandma. All I could think about how she was with us last year having seconds on the delicious turkey, playing a card game after the meal and just laughing hysterically together. I am thankful for the good times, but it will never be the same. 

A few randoms from the past few months...

Until we meet again.

Now, BACK on the unemployment line.

So, I have no clue what happened with my last blog entry. It went a little haywire. Even the pictures were pretty distorted. Anyway, I think I fixed the problem so it should be viewable. I was impressed on how well the night shots came out.

This week, Sadie achieved her green belt in karate. She is really making a lot of progress and really likes it. Although she tells me she wants to join dance and do archery when she gets bigger, we'll stick with karate for now. She earned the belt in her Tuesday class and then they had a little "graduation" ceremony for all the kids who were graduating up to their next color belt on Friday afternoon. I had to work on Friday, so daddy got to see the special event. I felt a little awkward asking for an afternoon off for a karate graduation after just coming back from a week long vacation (you may wonder why daddy was able to take her on a Friday afternoon after just starting a new job... but I'll get to that momentarily). So, I was sent a little snippet video via the good ol' iPhone, and of course I started tearing up after watching the first few seconds... crazy what being a mommy does to you.

My little green belt karate kid

As I mentioned, Ferny was home on Friday to take Sadie to her event, but here's the kicker... he was also home on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday too! He was supposed to start this new job on Tuesday morning. He agreed to meet the owner of the company at 6:30am. He arrived promptly at 6:30am and waited. And waited. Then waited a little more. Finally around 7am, the guy (we'll call him "Sam") shows up at the shop. He gets out of his vehicle and can barely look Ferny in the eye. "Sam" begins to tell Ferny that he sold the shop over the weekend and he couldn't hire him on any longer. No phone call, no email notification, nothing! "Sam" preceded to tell him that it was "out of the blue" and he hadn't expected this deal to go through so fast, and half mumbled an apology. When I received the phone call from my husband, it took every ounce of my being not to call this guy up myself and let him have it. He screwed him over so badly. Who in the world does that to someone?!? I am refraining from giving this guy's real name and business name because I don't really want to take that road. I'm electing to be the better person and not name-bash; but Ferny was so disappointed and I felt so awful for him. You know, it's just that feeling you get when someone does something awful to hurt a person you love, and you just want to intervene. He had his heart set on this position and "Sam" was stringing him along this entire time that he could have been employed elsewhere. So, back to the drawing board on the job search!

It was a waiting game all week long, because as soon as he was blasted with this crappy news, he got right on the phone and called up one of the other dealerships of which he was interviewed the week prior. He was pretty much offered the job on the spot at this place because they liked him so well. However, when he got the phone call that he was hired for this management position in Roseville, he called and left a voicemail for this dealership that he was offered the management position and that he wouldn't be moving forward with them (keep in mind, he also turned down the offer from the D.O.T.). He more or less went back to this dealership with his tail between his legs and explained what happened to him. The owner of this dealership liked him and his qualifications, but he told Ferny that there was one other candidate now in the running and he would have a decision by Thursday afternoon. Well, Thursday came and went and there was still no word. We held out hope because no news is good news, right? Wrong. He was informed on Friday they went with the other candidate because they were fearful if something better were to come along for him, he would jump at the chance to leave again. It's too bad that people have to be so skeptical, because he is one of the most loyal people you'll ever meet...

There was a reason that the first one didn't work out. It was meant to (not) be, I guess. I am thoroughly convinced that God has a better plan for Ferny at this time in his life, and that's why it didn't pan out. For now, I am going to be thankful that I have a fantastic job with an even more fantastic boss. I honestly could not work for a better company, and I couldn't be more grateful.

Until we meet again.

No More Walking the Unemployment Line!

I realized I haven't wrote a blog in quite some time, so I guess there is a lot to fill in since the end of July. This past week I have been on vacation from work. It has been a nice week (for the most part) but it feels like I have been gone for an eternity. We took a little trip up the North Shore and the weather was just picture perfect. No matter how many times I go up there, the scenery just gets me every time. It was nice taking Sadie along this time. The last time we were up there with her, we had just celebrated her first birthday. She really got enjoyment out of Gooseberry Falls. We were supposed to be road tripping in South Carolina all this week, but that didn't exactly go as planned...

Around the last week in July, my husband lost his job. It was kind of rough because it was really out of the blue and unexpected. We recently have been spending a lot of time searching for something...we didn't really know what would pan out, but we knew something had to turn up, eventually. It was time for something bigger and better. He had been going on interview after interview and it was all just a wait and see game. He was even on the verge of working part time as a delivery driver for Jimmy John's! Not that there is anything wrong with that, but he is not exactly "freaky fast" delivery material. Finally, he was hired on by the D.O.T. (Department of Transportation). It was an excellent opportunity which was a little outside of his field, but it paid very well. Once you get in with the D.O.T., they provide seasonal work, but you have the opportunity to make good money rather quickly working long days and sometimes 5-6 days per week. The only catch was right off the bat they had him out in Iowa for a six week stay on a project that was going on.

I wasn't really handling this idea too well. For a couple who hasn't been apart more than two nights in the whole 6 years they have been married, a weekend away is hard enough let alone SIX WEEKS! Yes, Sadie and I could have drove down on the weekends, but for what? Just to say goodbye again for another week. It would have just been too much. Long story short, 12 hours before he was supposed to be on the road to Iowa, he received a follow up phone call from one of the interviews he had been on earlier that week offering him the position! Needless to say, he pounced on it. The job offer was the one he was hoping for all along because it is more or less his "dream job" as he puts it. He will be managing an automotive service center in Roseville. I am so proud of him and he couldn't be happier!

It's funny what going through something like this does to a person; as well as a marriage. It's so easy to get upset, feel defeated, and place blame but it really doesn't do much good. You learn to look at the other side of things and say yes, this is a really crappy thing, but things could always be much, much worse. At the risk of sounding extremely sappy, I believe that it only makes a relationship/marriage stronger to go through things such as this. Couples divorce for much less than the things we have been though, so it kind of gives me a reassurance that we really were meant to be. OK, yes...that was sappy. I apologize. ;)

Along with this huge change, I feel as though we are going to really flip the remaining months of 2013 around with other positive changes. As I've stated several times, this year has been one of the worst, but I have a really positive feeling about how the rest of it will turn out. Now for a few photos of our little vaykay...

Until we meet again.