You need the negatives to develop

The one thing I promised myself that I would do this year is find a rental photography studio space. So far, I've checked a couple places out and I absolutely fell in love with one of them. I tried every which way to make it work, but I had this overwhelming sense of uncertainty that I was setting myself up for failure. The main reason is time. It's almost March and if I think back to last March, I was working (my regular job) probably 60 hours a week, trying to be a decent mother, shooting on the weekends, and then sleeping somewhere in between. So, instead of investing $400+ a month into a studio space that I may not even have enough time to use to make a profit, I decided to take the easy way out and put everything on the back burner. The fear of risk and it not working out over-powered and I again failed to pull the trigger. 

So, now what? In the photography business I've noticed there are two big areas of focus (pun intended) newborns and weddings. I wanted the studio to learn newborn photography. Not just the brand new mom holding the baby shots, but like the beautiful, creamy photos of baby wrapped in the cheesecloth's and sleeping the day away....ahhhhh....maybe a hint of baby fever in there too, but either way NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. With that said, I've decided to focus on weddings. I've shot a number of them before and I really enjoy it, but I never thought of taking it to the next level. I want to specialize in it and make it like what I do. I need a lot things to fall into place to get there but, I'm confident. Coming to the conclusion that it just wasn't the right time for me to have the studio right now was tough, but I'm not really one to give up, either. I've wanted to be a photographer since as far back as I can remember, well, a photojournalist to be exact. I didn't think I was good enough, so I didn't pursue it or go to school to learn it. I've spent a lot of time over the past few years trying to learn it on my own, and I think I've come a long way. I'm not the best, but I am very happy with my progress. 

Until we meet again.

The Bigger Plan

There are usually a million things that run through my head when I sit down to write a blog. For example, tonight I had thought about discussing how awful of a restaurant the Osaka in Maplewood is, or maybe talk about how excited I am to kick off the spring with a bunch of new photo shoots coming up. Or even better yet, vent about how my six year old has lately taken on the persona of a 13 year old 'Valley Girl' and has the attitude to match. But none of that really seems right tonight. 

There are times every now and again that certain events happen in life and you're afraid to ask why because you don't really want to question the bigger plan, but today is one of those days where I'm fighting the urge to ask that very question. Last night, my sister in law was taken from this world very suddenly. At 29 years old, she left behind her husband of just a few short years and their sweet little 8 year old boy who will now go on without his mother. It's hard not to question that. 

God always has a bigger plan, and having the reality check of knowing that everything can be gone in the very next second, it makes the so called problems of a crappy dinning experience and dealing with a little six year old diva seem pretty small. 

“Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile." -Mark Twain

Hangin' with the guys

I told myself that in 2016, I was going to make a point to blog more often. I attempted to open my email for this account and drew a complete blank on which email/password combo I used. After a couple days of almost getting locked out of my email and nearly pulling out my hair, I finally remembered the correct login, so here I am. Once I was able to get logged back in again, it was so much fun going back to read the old blog posts. All the more reason to get back in the swing of things and document more!

It's hard to believe it's been over a year since my last post. 2015 sure was a crazy year, it was wonderful, but crazy. As opposed to even attempt to recap the year, I'm going to just pick up from the here and now.

Last weekend we went to Twins Fest and had the best time. I'm so happy that Sadie has the same love for baseball as her momma and daddy... even if it may be a tad bit forced.  Below are a few of the highlights from the afternoon:

Sadie was lucky enough to be picked by the handsome 1st baseman himself to help with Story Time with Joe Mauer. 

Never mind TC's big booty in the way, Sadie is shaking the hand of her favorite guy! Her day was made. 

Acting out the story.

Meeting Trevor Plouffe. 

Obviously thrilled to be meeting Brian Dozer :)

I'm not going to lie, despite how it might look in this photo he's kind of a jerk, but we got to meet Bert Blyleven. 

We saw Dan Gladden at the bar. Sadie asked him for a photo and he picked her up and put her on top of the bar. :)

Oswaldo Arcia = H*O*T*T*I*E ;)

Until we meet again.

How did we get so old?!?

I don't remember exactly how it came up the other night, but Ferny and I were sitting in the living room and it occurred to me that he has a high school reunion coming up. I didn't really think much of it until I did the math. He graduated in 1995 and it's almost 2015 so that's, um...20 years!?! When did we get so old? Granted, he is 6 years older than I am, it was still surprising to realize how fast life is flying by and the changes that have come with it. I look back to who I was 10 years ago, and I would swear it wasn't even the same person.

Another realization of this fact is Sadie starting kindergarten. She is about a month into it and has been doing very well. Ever since I can remember, she has adjusted to new things very quickly and luckily this has been no exception. She has made a bunch of little friends, had a little bit of kindergarten drama, and has learned so much already. The only bummer is she has been pretty much constantly sick ever since the first week of school. It's obvious that when a bunch of little ones go back to school any germs present will spread like wildfire, but this has been just ridiculous. It makes me want to keep her home and do home school. Or, maybe just invest in a big plastic bubble. Kidding.

On a brighter note, she has been preparing for her next karate tournament. Since our move in July, we transferred her to the Woodbury Ultimate Martial Arts school and she loves her new instructors. The routine they are rehearsing is going to be tough as they are incorporating 3 different weapons. Having a half dozen 5 year olds running around with swords and nunchucks seems like recipe for disaster, but I'm sure it will turn out great or on the news, one of the two.

This past week feels like it has been the longest/shortest week ever. It started out not so great because I feel as though I backed myself into a corner and let someone down. I didn't trust in something that I should have and made a really stupid mistake; it was fixable, but still stupid. It's truly amazing how much can change after a good, long conversation with someone who cares. More often than not, I tend to keep things to myself even though I know expressing them is the better route to take. Things that I should talk out, I sometimes ignore or suppress and it gets me no where. I am getting better at it (kind of), but still have my moments. I just hate problems/drama/or anything related to ruffling of feathers or rocking the boat. I have always felt as though if I bring up something that could (in my eyes) be fixed or corrected, it's looked at as "oh great, what is she bit**ing about now." There are a handful of things in life that I take great pride in, and when my pride is jeopardized, it's sometimes hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Needless to say, the light has shone through as it always does, but it could have went a much different way. So, I'll end this extremely vague paragraph by stating that I'm just grateful. Things always fall into place the way that they are meant to be, and I know I am where I am meant to be.

The week ended very well though. Ferny and I scored some great seats for Garth Brooks! Not sure how we got so lucky, but we did. Garth has been on my musical bucket list since 1998, so I am super excited to belt out the lyrics to 'Friends In Low Places' with him from the 3rd row in November!

Last weekend, we took the kiddos to the Renaissance Festival. Here are few of the memories:

Until we meet again.

Using Protection

Over the course of the summer, we have had the opportunity to do a lot of fun things as a family; probably more so than ever before. As Sadie gets older, going out and about becomes much easier to do and much more enjoyable. However, being out and about has brought on some frustrations. Every where we go, whether it be Target, to a movie, or just out to dinner, people are constantly using such foul language!

No, I am not sitting over here thinking I am Mother Teresa by any means, but I'll tell you what, I have never used profanity in front of or directed at my child... well there was that one time in the car about a year ago in the middle of the winter when this guy literally walked right out in front of the hood of my car and I could barely stop, but still! It never bothered me when people would do it before I had a child. I would hear it as background noise and simply tune it out, but things change when little impressionable ears are listening.

I have spent the last five years of my life trying to protect her from every little thing I could possibly think of. From driving several hundred miles out of the way every week so she could be cared for by a loving/trusting family member instead of a day care center all the way to making grown men feel small when they accidentally drop the f-bomb when she is in ear-shot (I literally had a middle-aged man sit and apologize to me for five minutes straight when we took her to Wrigley Field this summer). I realize that I can't shelter and protect her from every little thing in life, but I feel as though people really need to clean it up a bit in public.

On a related note, my little (not-so-little) one is off to kindergarten next week. Based off of the previous rant, you can imagine how well I am dealing with it. She's so excited for it though. I pretend like I am sharing in her excitement, but in reality I wish I could keep her this small for the rest of time. I can't believe how fast the time actually went. I'm sure the fact that she is (and will be) my one and only makes me want to hold on even more, but I truly am looking forward to the next phase in her life.

Until we meet again.

My baby is 5!

This is something I did with my baby girl right after her 5th birthday but I just forgot to 'publish.' Oops. I did this with her last year around her birthday too. It's so fun to see the simularities and differences in her answers from last year to this year.

Annual Birthday Survey: Sadie – Age 5

favorite food: "Strawberries"

favorite sport: "The Vikings"

favorite show: "Austin and Ally" (Disney show)

If you could go on an airplane anywhere, where would you go: "the beach"

favorite color: "purple"

when you grow up what are you going to be: "a dress maker"

favorite song: "This Girl is on Fire" Alisha Keys

favorite book: "The Cat in the Hat"

3 words that describe you: "that I love, princess, and a grown-up."

When you were little, you used to: "play all the time."

Favorite time of year: "spending time with my family" (she got an awwwww, from me on this one!)

Favorite snack: "fruit snacks"

Favorite breakfast food: "waffles"

Yuckiest food: "carrots and celery"

My best friend: "Adeline and Jonathan"

Favorite toy: "toy purple necklace"

What is your favorite holiday: "halloween because it's scary, rawrrr!"

Favorite thing to do outside: "play in the sprinklers" 

Places I want to go: the "Airplane Park" (favorite playground in Lakeville)

People I miss: "Great Grandma"

Favorite restaurant: "Rockin Robin" (Red Robin)

Favorite pets: "Pumpkin" (Stephanie and Davis's dog)

What did you do on your birthday: "Chuck E. Cheese's" 

Automatic

They say if you want to move forward you should never really look back, but I have been feeling very nostalgic these past few weeks. There are so many things that I just literally miss how they used to be. I miss how holidays used to be, I miss how people used to be, I just miss how everything used to be. 

There is a new song by my favorite gal Miranda Lambert that is titled Automatic. It hit home so hard because she sings about how everything was so much better before the world became automatic. It's so true though! No one really talks anymore, it's all texting and emailing. I'm just as guilty as the next, but I'm not going to lie, growing up having to walk 5 blocks to your best friend's house to talk about the latest and greatest had it's advantages. Kids just don't do that anymore. It's all snapchat this, and Instagram that. I probably sound like I'm about 80 years old writing this, but in my thirty some years on this earth I've noticed a huge difference in people and it's not all that great...

For example, when I was in the Target parking lot the other day, I almost pulled out in front of this little old lady driving a "little old lady car." I slammed on the breaks as did she, but she waved me right ahead. As we passed each other we smiled and waived. Not even 15 seconds later this 20 something airhead with a huge SUV cuts me off flying in to the place -doesn't even look back. It just goes to show that people are different now and it sucks.

I know I was raised different. It's apparent to me every single day, but it's very discouraging to raise a child in the way the world is today. How do you explain school shootings? How do you explain teenage suscide? How do you teach a child that it doesn't matter what others think of them and there is no reason to sercome to peer pressure? You can talk and lecture them until you're blue in the face, but the bottom line is it's a terrifying world out there, a world I never had to deal with growing up.

A part of me feels as though I was sheltered. There were bad things going on around me, but it's like I was in a bubble; and that bubble was private (Catholic) school. I truly didn't even know what a "blunt" was until I over heard from a kid I didn't even know my freshman year of high school. The best part of all was I came home from school that afternoon and asked my mom what it meant! I am grateful for my upbringing more than anything, and in the hopes that I am able to raise my daughter the same way, I hope she'll appreciate it too.

http://youtu.be/2ksWKOy665o

Until we meet again.